Make me laugh

[cutelittlekirstie]

There is sooooo many that I have posted here.

 

[ImWoody]

Thanks, I can't take credit for any of the jokes posted here.

I am friends on Facebook with an old school teacher, he posts a joke every day. I also finds jokes on a joke app that I have.

So sadly I'm not that good at thinking of jokes.

Most of my jokes are ones I’ve heard in my travels. I tried to make up one about a polymath who was also polyamorous. But I don’t think it worked out. That’s just a statement, btw, not a joke. In case you couldn’t tell lol!

 

[ImWoody]

Why is is called taking a piss and not leaving a piss?

(That’s kind of a joke. Or perhaps some Woody philosophy!)

 

[ImWoody]

Americans can’t switch from pounds to kilograms overnight.

That would cause mass confusion.

 

[ImWoody]

King: Our kingdom is about to go into battle. How many volunteers do we have for my evil army, squire?

Squire: 384 my liege.

King: Well, round them up!

Squire: 400, my liege.

 

[ImWoody]

Justice is a dish best serve cold.

If served warm it would be justwater.

 

[cutelittlekirstie]

I had a text from a mate and his girlfriend who are on holiday in Croatia. It's really sad to be honest.

He said that they were going to Split.